Love and Loss: What Margaret’s Breast Cancer Journey Taught Her
In the fall of 2023, Margaret Wiles went in for a routine mammogram, where a scan revealed a small lump the size of a chickpea in her right breast. Her first calls after her diagnosis were to her partner of 30 years, Tom, and her older sister, a two-time breast cancer survivor. Together they helped prepare her mentally for the lumpectomy surgery that would be needed to remove the lump.
Margaret’s care team scheduled the procedure for just a few short weeks later, but by then the tumor had grown to the size of a lima bean.
“Growing—that was a concern of mine,” she recalls.
Despite her initial fears, there was some good news: because her cancer had been caught early, Margaret wouldn’t need chemotherapy or radiation. “I was pleased I didn’t have to go through those additional treatments,” she says. “It would have been hard because I was caring for my life partner.”
Margaret Faced Many Challenges
Margaret and Tom, a writer and photographer, had built a life together over three decades, and in recent years, she had become his caregiver as he faced a significant illness of his own. “Taking care of someone you love so much, who is so sick, is stressful and worrisome,” she says. “I wasn’t taking care of myself.”
While Margaret recovered following the lumpectomy, her world was upended again. In January 2024, Tom passed away. “Between November and January, everything in my whole life changed. The surgery and losing Tom—it was huge.”
Support Beyond Medical Expertise
Through it all, Margaret found an unwavering source of support in her surgeon, Dr. Kristin Baltazar-Ford, M.D., who specializes in breast and general surgery at Geneva General Surgical Associates, URMC Finger Lakes Health.
“Dr. Baltazar was so encouraging and helpful in getting me through the emotional part, keeping me strong and hopeful,” Margaret says. “When you’re faced with such difficulty, it’s hard to stay positive.”
Recalling her experiences with other doctors, she adds, “Of all the many doctors I’ve been to, she’s the most compassionate I have ever dealt with.” Her primary care physician had recommended Dr. Baltazar with confidence: “She told me, ‘You’ll be in good hands. She’s the one you want to help you through this.’”
The Most Important Lessons Learned
Now, a year later, Margaret is continuing to adjust to a new normal. Reflecting on the life she shared with Tom, she says, “We were a couple of old hippies. He had a great sense of humor, and we laughed a lot together.”
Moving forward, Margaret hopes her story will encourage others to take proactive steps for their health and seek care early, not forgetting that they need to care for themselves too.
“I’ve lost 20 pounds—likely from all the grief,” she admits. “It was a lot all at once, but I swear I feel better now than I have in years.”
Focusing on self-care and healing, she emphasizes the importance of routine screenings. “Learn not to be afraid and trust your caregivers,” she advises. “Don’t skip your screenings—early detection made all the difference for me.”
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